First Talk with my Mother in Law

I knew I would have to talk to Henry's parents about this sooner or later. Henry would happily leave it until we see them again, and even then, he would not feel any pressure to tell them. Sometimes his relaxed nature drives me crazy. So, I took it upon myself.

I was sitting in front of the school yesterday, waiting for Annie to finish with her after school activity when I decided to call. I did not expect her to approve of the idea, even though Henry has been telling me: "If there is one person who will support this it is my mother." I just knew he was wrong.

I didn't waste time and after the initial greeting I told her I have to tell her that we have been thinking about having a third child. I quickly added: "adopting a child". I explained that we were still just thinking about it (not really true, I am quite determined), and that even if we start with the process it will take a very long time to finally have a child placed with us. So there were plenty of time for us to consider this carefully. Then I waited for her reply.

She was quiet for a few seconds, then asked: "Why do you want to do this?" I explained that it is of course not easy to give one's reasons in a neat package, but that adoption was something we have always had in the back of our minds. I also told her that my parents are not supportive at all. She answered: "Well, I think it is a 'fashion statement' and I have to side with your parents. Since Angelina Jolie has adopted that black baby, it has become fashionable. And the people who will pay the price in the end, will be Annie and Harry."

We continued to have a conversation for another ten minutes or so, and I have to say, after the initial shock wore off, she handled it pretty well. At least we discussed it. I tried to give her information, and discussed some potential difficulties of adopting a child. I did not try to explain why we were thinking about this except to say that we did want a third child, and that now would be a good time considering our other children's ages, and the fact that I don't have to work for the next two years. As with my mother I did not defend my ideas, or tried to "convince" her.

All in all, I think it went well. Now it is up to the grandparents to process this. I am sure they will have enough time.